How filtering for feedback will help you take massive action in your biz (and have more results to show for it!)
“You know if this whole coaching thing doesn’t work out…”
It was that moment that I mentally tuned out.
The pit in the bottom of my stomach feeling heavier than ever before.
Fighting back tears, I took a deep breath, trying to refocus on the conversation I was having.
Because the truth was, this was one of MANY conversations that went very similarly.
I was SO sure this was the work I was meant to be doing in the world, and yet it seemed like no one else could see it.
I’d battle the same thoughts again and again…
“Was I strong enough to keep holding the vision I had for this coaching business???”
“Was I crazy for pivoting from a profitable and successful business, on the hunt for more fulfillment???”
“Was I wasting my 4-year design degree and all the time, money, and effort that went toward that???”
“Who even does this?? Did I even deserve a second chance when the business I had was working??”
Yes. The answer was YES.
But THESE were the thoughts that held me back—second-guessing myself, overthinking each and every action, or worse, not taking action at all—way longer than I care to admit.
It’s part of the reason that I’m so effing passionate about identifying the thoughts that are holding YOU back from reaching the kind of success I KNOW is possible for you.
If there’s one thing I stand for, it’s women getting more of what they want in life AND biz. Because yes, I absolutely believe you CAN have both.
✨ You can 7x your monthly revenue.
✨ You can have the amazing team member to take work off your plate.
✨ You can have the upgraded software.
✨ You can have the raving clients.
✨ You can have the fancy champagne celebration.
✨ You can have the life- and biz- altering coach.
✨ You can have the guilt-free days you sleep in.
✨ You can have the dreamy two-week vacation.
✨ You can have the income AND the impact.
How do I know you can have it???
These are ALL results I’ve created in my life and biz.
And honestly? It's ALL been because of mindset.
So today, I’m talking about how filtering feedback will help you take massive action in your biz and yield far more results to show for it rather than constantly second-guessing yourself, your desires, and if you REALLY have what it takes to be successful.
Are they in the arena?
Have you watched the Brené Brown special on Netflix yet?
Seriously. Go do it. Even if you haven’t picked up one of her books, this talk she gives will change the way you filter for feedback in your business. You can thank me later.
One of Brené’s books, Daring Greatly, was inspired by this Roosevelt quote:
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood…who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.”
She goes on to explain, “If you’re not in the arena getting your a** kicked on a daily basis, then I’m not interested in your feedback.”
That’s a truth bomb right there.
It had me thinking about how often the feedback that can most rock our mindset can be from those who aren’t truly IN IT—the people who don’t know what it’s like to go after what you want above all else, the people who aren’t willing to open up and show up to gain visibility, and those who don’t understand the courage it takes to dare greatly again and again even in the face of challenges.
But the way I see it, this is such amazing news because instead of having to consider every opinion out there, you can filter through the small number of those who are actually in the arena with you.
And let me tell you, that makes the pool of opinions a whole hell of a lot smaller.
Brené even goes on to suggest putting the names of the people whose opinions matter on a 1” square piece of paper. And well, if you can’t fit them all, she suggests you edit.
So the next time you’re dwelling on what Suzy-what’s-her-face says about you posting about your business all the time, remember…
Suzy isn’t in the arena OR on your 1” square—so Suzy’s opinion may just not really matter as much as you might have thought.
Their feedback has very little to do with you
“I’m not on Facebook and I’m never coming back.”
That’s actual feedback a client of mine received when she invited someone to join the new Facebook group she created for her business.
And honestly, this is such a great example of how the right mindset and the right support can be so incredibly powerful when it comes to taking more of the right actions in your business.
Because rather than shifting her entire marketing plan, second-guessing the social media platform she was showing up on, or creating countless stories about what this could mean about her or her business because someone else "hates Facebook and isn't coming back" (and believe me—I’ve seen that happen to others!)…
BOOM. 💥
She simply moved on.
Yep. She simply let that person know that there would be other platforms they could connect with coming at a later date (ones that were already in the works!) and that she would love to keep them posted as they become available.
THIS is where filtering for feedback can be a game-changer in your business.
Because while it’s one thing to receive similar, repeated feedback in your business from people that are ACTUALLY your ideal client and use that data to shift accordingly, I see WAY too many business owners feel like they need to make changes based on ONE person’s opinion.
And honestly, that person’s feedback likely had nothing to do with my client.
Maybe she found herself spending too much time on social media and deleted the app to refocus on her priorities.
Maybe she was going through a difficult family situation and was feeling triggered by what was being posted.
Maybe she was feeling bad about her own self-image and didn’t want to be tagged in photos.
WHO THE HELL KNOWS. We all filter through our own thoughts, feelings, and experiences so it could be anything.
Point being, it doesn’t serve you or your business to shift your strategy based on one person’s opinion.
So the next time you find yourself making that feedback mean something about you or your biz, I want you to remember it likely has very little to do with you and likely has everything to do with what that person is going through.
Their fear is not your fear
“But what will you do if you can’t find another job?” they said when I was leaving my full-time job and moving across the country.
“But what if you and Brian don’t work out?” they said when I was moving in with my long-distance boyfriend of two years.
“But what if you don’t really like Colorado after all?” they said when I was packing up my NYC apartment.
“Then I’ll make the next best decision from that point,” I’d respond, trying not to let it get to me.
But we all know that work may be simple, but it isn’t always easy when it comes to stepping into a world of unknowns.
WHAT IF?? I’d lay awake at night thinking…
That was until I had a bit of a breakthrough. I saw exactly how much fear I was surrounded by.
And it wasn’t fear that *I WOULDN’T* succeed in my endeavors. It was fear that *THEY* would never succeed if they were in my shoes.
I think this is SUCH an important differentiation and it will make a HUGE difference in whether you decide to go for more of what you want, take more uncomfortable action in your biz, and consequently hit more of your goals as a result.
OR decide to keep playing small exactly where you are (I’m sure you can guess which way I’m rooting for!).
Because when it comes to filtering for feedback, knowing exactly whose fears are calling the shots can make all the difference in your decisions.
At the end of the day, I decided that I fully trusted myself to be able to handle the challenges that came next.
And quite frankly, the risk of standing still and staying where I was was JUST as scary (if not more so) than never having the guts to go after what I wanted.
And actually, it’s worth mentioning that all of those things worked out. I’ve been successfully running my own biz since that move over five years ago, I’m married to that very same boyfriend (now husband) that was once long-distance, and I’m thrilled that I can look out the window of my home office at a gorgeous Colorado mountain view. All because I was willing to go for it.
And you can too. 🙌
The bottom line:
When it comes to building a business, there are going to be a vast number of opinions you come across (both good and bad) and this can wreak havoc on your mindset and stop you from taking action or make you take the wrong action if you let it.
That’s why I’m so freakin’ passionate about helping women build businesses that are aligned with what they want and how they want to create it.
Because when you’re on YOUR path, everyone else’s feedback holds less importance and affects fewer decisions.
That’s why how you filter feedback is going to make all the difference in taking more of the RIGHT actions in your business so you can see far more results.
If you’re ready to stop worrying about what everyone else will think and start seeing more results in your business, I’d love for you to join me on my free, value-packed Next Step, Next Client coaching call.
Together, we’ll talk about how your mindset has been holding you back so you can take action and book that next client ASAP.
Tell me in the comments below:
What’s one opinion or piece of feedback you’ve pushed past to see more results in your biz!?
Photography by Jennifer Morgan Photography
