The "secret" to creating more success that actually FEELS like success
I felt the GUILT starting to creep in again as I sank further into the bathtub, tightening my grip on the book I was reading.
I could hear the trees rustle their leaves outside as a gentle breeze filled the room.
I looked over to the rosé champagne I was sipping on as it danced in its glass.
I took a long deep breath and centered myself.
I was fully caught up on client messages.
And yet, there it was, greeting me like an old friend.
The thoughts started to tumble in.
“Who are YOU to be able to enjoy yourself like this??”
“You know there’s a long list of things you COULD be doing, right? Is this totally necessary??”
“Don’t you think you may be a tiny bit delusional if you think you can have all this time to yourself AND a successful business??”
Damn.
Despite all that mindset work I’ve done, this stuff still shows up. The difference is, I’ve learned how to manage my mind during times like these.
Because spoiler alert: mindset work doesn’t mean that you never have negative thoughts again—it just means you’re able to shift those thoughts FAST to a new one that actually serves you. And the more you do that, the better you get at it and the easier it is!
Which means I was able to shift on over real quick to → I’ve learned that practicing self-care is one of the fundamental ways that I boost my life and business.
But that isn’t just a thought I shifted to. It’s now a fundamental belief I have in my life and business—so much so that circumstances line up again and again in exactly that way.
Because let’s face it, in most cases YOU ARE the business and taking care of you is one of (if not THE) the most important thing you do every day. Taking care of you IS taking care of the business.
So I got right to work using one of my all-time favorite mindset hacks, turning those thoughts of fear, guilt, and self-doubt into gratitude.
“I’m grateful that I’ve built a business that allows me to have a flexible schedule.”
“I’m grateful I have more clients than ever before and am making more money in my business than ever before.”
“I’m grateful that I really showed up for myself and my business this week so I can really enjoy this time to myself.”
“I’m grateful I’m in a supportive relationship where my husband doesn’t even blink, but actually encourages me to take the time I need.”
“I’m grateful I have a supportive mentor that has filled me with the belief that having an amazing life actually benefits my business.”
Per usual, it did the trick. The thoughts of gratitude came flooding in and the thoughts of guilt started to shrink away.
Because here’s the thing…
It’s nearly impossible to create success that actually FEELS like success when you don’t give yourself those magical moments to actually enjoy this life and business you’re building for yourself. Read: have fun.
Basking in the lavender bubble baths. Popping the champagne. Dancing to T.Swift to celebrate new clients (maybe that one’s just me 😉).
THOSE are the moments that make this crazy rollercoaster of an entrepreneurial journey 100% worth it.
Because if you’re constantly putting off your ability to actually ENJOY the life you’ve created until you’ve taken on a certain amount of clients, hit a certain number goal, or been in business a certain amount of time, I can almost guarantee you won't be enjoying it when you get there.
Not only that, but the joy, high vibes, and gratitude actually have a snowball effect. Happiness is magnetic, bringing in more clients, more income, and more impact. Because let’s face it, no one is jumping to get on a sales call with Eeyore and it’s THAT much harder to show up for your biz when you hate every bit of what it’s doing to your life.
The habits start now. Taking care of yourself starts now. And having fun started twenty minutes ago. 🎉
So this week, I’m talking about how having more fun in your life actually creates more success in your business and allows you to reach those big business milestones THAT much quicker.
Make having fun a priority
Self-care is SUCH a buzzword these days. So much so, that I think sometimes our eyes just glaze over it without really focusing on the deeper meaning behind it.
Perhaps your thoughts go straight to massages and bubble baths and you think, “That’s nice lady, but my budget and schedule don’t allow for weekly mani-pedis.”
Now hear me out. Those are all amazing ways to practice self-care, but they’re not the ONLY ways.
What if we just went back to basics? What if you just simply tried to have more FUN in your life and business?
In fact, I think that deep self-care means being aware of the best ways YOU know how to take care of yourself and chances are, having fun is a pretty good way to do exactly that.
Maybe for you, that means working outside from your patio or planning to make a fun themed dinner with your significant other so that you end your workday on time.
It doesn’t have to be extravagant or expensive, but no matter how you choose to spend your “me” time, it all comes back to this: You can’t pour from an empty cup.
Meaning that you can’t take care of your business, or more specifically your clients, customers, products, or team, if you’re running on fumes.
Because in most cases you ARE the business, so it’s essential that you take care of #1 → YOU.
This is actually business-building advice that I dish out all the time.
Because the more fun my Future You clients are having, the higher their vibe and the more opportunities arise for them. I see it time and time again.
It’s on those long hikes and paddle boarding trips that they step into the success they’ve built for themselves and new inquiries flow into their inbox.
It’s in embracing that time off to catch up on errands that they bump into and chat up potential clients.
And personally, it’s when I’m out for a run and soaking up the sunshine that contracts get signed and deposits are paid.
Minimum input for maximum output
In the same vein, having fun doesn’t have to be a long, drawn-out process. I mean, DUH, but you’d be surprised how difficult us, high-achieving ladies, like to make even the simplest of things. Or maybe you wouldn’t be. 😉
You don’t need to have hours to devote or take entire days off for activities that refill your cup. (Though, you have my full permission to take the day off and go to the pool if you want to!)
But, I think the best self-care practices are ones that take minimum input but have maximum output.
Because the moments that you’re MOST in need of good, old-fashioned FUN are typically the moments when you have the least amount of time to devote to it (and subsequently would feel the MOST guilty for carving out time for it!).
I have a list of go-to things that help me to have more fun and experience more freedom and fulfillment in my life and business.
Things like taking a bath in the middle of the day, curling up with a good book and a glass of rosé champagne, working from my patio, or simply rewatching Gilmore Girls because there are like so. many. things. I didn’t pick up on the first time around.
But to me, this time is absolutely magical because it’s minimal input (I mean, these are not crazy ideas, ladies!) for maximum output, totally transforming how I show up each day.
Do yourself a favor and jot down a list of three ways you’re going to have more fun, that don’t take a ton of time, resources, or energy, but have a tremendous effect on your overall productivity and wellbeing.
THOSE are the ones to rely on when you’re feeling guilty and crunched for time in the self-care department!
It’s an equal energy exchange
I have an incredible mentor who helped me to shift my mindset by thinking of my business as a relationship.
More specifically, to think of it as an equal energy exchange. Meaning that there are seasons of hustle when things are busy and I’m being stretched, and in those instances, I’m pouring a lot of energy into the business.
But in the same way, there slow seasons when there isn’t as much work on my plate and I have more free time available. Those seasons are the ones when my business gives back, funding that downtime and truly making it possible.
Thinking of my business in this way helped me to alleviate some of the guilt around stepping away.
It helped me to see that I was already pouring time and energy into my business and that taking a lunch break to go on a hike with my hubby is actually one of the ways in which my business gives back to me and that makes it even easier for me to receive other things like more money and clients.
Think of it this way: if you were an artist and you released a new collection of paintings every quarter, you might be in a busy season of CREATING initially, working longer days to produce the collection.
But as you move out of creating and into more of a marketing role, you have more free time AND you’re making sales.
Your business is giving back by funding that slow season and that’s a good thing! And the same is true for online business.
In fact, it’s usually when we let our businesses give BACK that the biggest results show up, creating more profit and fulfillment rather than simply trying to hustle it out all the time (and consequently burning out too!).
Notice when guilt isn’t serving you anymore
Our brains love to keep us safe. They love to default to the ways we’ve always been doing things, not taking any unnecessary risks or putting ourselves in harm’s way.
It’s a survival instinct and serves us well in many ways. But it’s also what makes it difficult to stretch outside our comfort zone and to push what we’re capable of.
Knowing that, I like to think of guilt as one of the emotions my brain uses to keep me safe.
It’s essentially going, “Whoa now, are you sure you want to take that time off? Don’t we have money to make to survive? Shouldn’t you really be by your computer right now.”
But when I take a closer look at that thought, I know that I do my best work WHEN I step away and have more fun.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s definitely a balance. If it was all play and no work, there wouldn’t BE a business, but if you’re anything like my Future You clients, not working hard enough is rarely a problem.
For me, more time at my desk doesn’t necessarily mean more productivity, or heck, even more dollars in the bank.
There’s a part of me that deeply knows I do my best work, and hit more of my goals, when I’m having more fun both inside and outside of my biz so that I’m healthy and happy (funny how that works, huh?).
I mean, hasn’t that pretty much always been true for you as well? Think back to the last time you felt amazing, and consequently, created amazing results in your business, because the two go hand in hand.
Here’s where the work comes in though: I have to actively choose to think differently.
I can’t let those old holdover thoughts from working a 9–5 run that show. And you may have to put that very same work in.
So the next time you feel the guilt creeping in for having fun and taking some much needed time for self-care, ask yourself, “Is this a useful emotion?” Because you may be relying on “old programming” (old ways of thinking) rather than what will serve you best moving forward.
Tell me in the comments below:
What’s one perk of entrepreneurship that you used to feel guilty about that you now enjoy?
