Mindset lessons from an anti-bridezilla that you can apply to your biz TODAY to get bigger results
I’m 100% convinced that being a business owner made me a better bride. And by “better” I mean, calmer, more strategic, more decisive, happier, and nicer to be around.
Less bridezilla. More bride-chilla. Is that a word? Can we make that a thing?
The same way things can move REALLY fast in business when you’re in alignment with what you want and how you want to create it, wedding planning moved a warp speed.
Brian and I were engaged on a Saturday.
By Tuesday, we were looking at possible locations.
By Wednesday, I had found my wedding dress (at a fraction of the sticker price, might I add).
And by Friday, I had signed a contract with my dream venue.
I wasted no time. We planned our wedding in roughly six months without cutting corners, making big sacrifices, and without too many tears (though I admit, there were a few). I could say the very same thing about starting my design business several years ago.
If you know me at all, you know I believe that we always get more of the results we want when we’re aligned to the process.
Planning a wedding was no exception.
But I will say that it was all of the mindset work that I’ve done up to this point that allowed me to have this perspective and actually ENJOY, not only the wedding planning process, but the day itself. The very same way mindset work has allowed me to actually ENJOY my business journey, without solely focusing on hitting those big number goals.
Because mindset is EVERYTHING and doing that inner work has made it so much easier for me to thrive in both life and business. Cultivating those thoughts and beliefs in one area makes it so much easier to move that same belief over into another.
So when there were last-minute changes to the guest list? I sent the emails that needed to be sent without a lot of extra drama.
When it was pouring rain an hour before the ceremony? We did the photos for our “first look” on the rooftop under the awning instead of by the rock wall. And you know what? They were still stunning.
And when they forgot to put the rose petals down the aisle that day? I actually didn’t even notice because everything else was SO GOOD.
THAT is the power of mindset. That is the power of deciding that there will always be tradeoffs in life and business but that you can get what you want anyway.
And let me tell you, THAT thought will always make you a hell of a lot happier in life AND business than constantly being on the lookout for things to go wrong. Because in my experience, when you look for anything that hard, you will most definitely find it (good or bad).
So this week I’m letting you in on the mindset hacks I used to plan my wedding in six months without going bridezilla and how you can apply these exact thoughts to your business TODAY to get more of what you want (i.e. more money and clients with more ease).
Projects expand into the space you give them
It sounds a little crazy to plan and pull off a wedding in six months time. But that’s nothing compared to what it FEELS LIKE to plan and pull off a wedding in six months time. And I don’t just mean the small, backyard, close friends and family variety. No, I wanted the whole shebang. I wanted my dream day. I didn’t want to look back and say, “Well, if I hadn’t rushed through the planning process, I would have… [insert regret here].” Which meant that I was dedicated to getting clear on what I wanted and making decisions in support of that. If you’re one of my Future You coaching clients, you know I say those very words alllll the time because KNOWING what you want is the first step to GETTING what you want.
I know that not all of us are the kind of people who have dreamed about their wedding day since they were little, and for that I’m grateful. I think you balance the rest of us out. BUT I am most definitely that girl. And ever since I was little, I dreamed of getting married in or near a National Park because they made a real impression on me when I was younger. So when my dream venue (with the perfect mix of rustic and modern) at the base of Rocky Mountain National Park had my dream date (Memorial Day weekend, so those traveling wouldn’t have to take time off work) I just KNEW we had to book it. And so, my six months of planning began.
You’ve probably experienced that feeling in business when you only have 30 minutes between calls with roughly ten tasks to tick off your list during that time. Moms, I know you’re rockstars at this very same thing during nap times. And yet somehow, it all magically gets done. Or rather, projects are contained (and expand) into the space you give them. Meaning, if you want to toil away for months redoing your website, you most definitely can. If you want to get it done and launch it in 48 hours, you can do that too. So I chose to look at my 6-month deadline as a good thing, keeping me from dwelling on any one decision for too long, while still being enough time to be fun and enjoyable.
Focus on your priorities and let the rest go
The best wedding planning advice I received was to decide on a few select things that were really important to me and let go of the rest. In other words, to focus on my priorities. It’s no surprise that this is another core belief I hold in my Future You program in helping my clients create a thriving life and business. See how this mindset stuff is the underlying foundation of EVERYTHING??? Because focusing on your priorities is HOW you get everything you want because you’ve already decided what that is.
I knew that it was really important to me that I be surrounded by the people closest to me that weekend and actually had a chance to spend real, meaningful time with them. I wanted to be able to have conversations that went deeper than just five minutes at the reception. So getting a few condos so the wedding party would be able to spend the weekend on site at the venue with us became a no-brainer. In hindsight, it was one of the best decisions we made because while of course, the wedding itself was special, it was the little moments when we were cooking breakfast, laughing about the night before, and sipping wine on the patio that made the weekend what it was.
Flowers were also important to me. You should have SEEN the doozy of a PDF, complete with mood boards and color palettes, I handed off to the florist! And with my design background, of course, invitations were also high on my list, complete with blush pink envelopes and vintage stamps. Making these priorities made it made it so. much. easier. to place less importance on everything else. Meaning, I didn’t care what color shoes the girls wore, what kind of jewelry, or how they did their nails. It’s not that I didn’t want it to look good, it’s just that there’s only room for so much, and other things rose to the top of my list.
So the next time you’re beating yourself up that there are still dishes in the sink during a launch week, remind yourself that you’re simply focusing on your priorities right now and let the rest go. My priorities in my business are fully supporting my one-on-one Future You and Accelerator clients, booking out my free Money Mindset sessions, and showing up regularly in my content marketing in my podcast, blog posts, newsletters, and on social. It means that I worry less about things like creating another opt-in or redesigning my website because it simply isn’t a priority.
Trust your intuition
Now, as much as I’d love to say I was the chillest bride on earth, my condensed timeline didn’t completely eliminate indecisiveness all together. Hey, I’m only human. The last two weeks before the wedding, when all the major decisions had been made, I found my brain wanting to second guess the little stuff.
But SHOULD they ice the cake like that??
Maybe we need a guest book… is it weird not to have a guest book??
Maybe the bridesmaids’ hair should be down instead??
It was as though things had finally slowed down and my brain was still used to the speed it had been operating at, coming up with new things to eff with me on. It was in those moments that I reminded myself to trust my intuition and not to overturn decisions that had already been made. Clearly, I had at one point thought it was a good idea for everyone to have updos, so I stuck with that. I anchored into my previous decisions. The truth is that there will always be another cake, another dress, another bouquet, another pair of shoes, and I could go on and on. I could drive myself crazy by second-guessing every little thing so I made a conscious choice NOT to do that.
But I see this in business too. It’s the very same thoughts that make it so hard to stick with a marketing strategy when you’re still hearing crickets. It’s these thoughts that keep people constantly switching up their business models and picking a new social media platform for their marketing. But the constant flip-flopping doesn’t do us any favors there either. It’s by anchoring into the decisions we’ve already made in our business model and our marketing that allow us to show up consistently, gain traction, and allow our audience to get to know us on a deeper level. So the next time your brain tries to eff with you on that, remind it to simmer down now and trust your intuition. You chose it for a reason, after all.
You can only control your own thoughts and feelings
I think any bride will tell you that managing your own thoughts, feelings, and emotions while planning a wedding is one thing. But also fielding the thoughts, feelings, and emotions of others brings it to a whole new level. If I’m being honest, this was probably the most difficult for me. It wasn’t any one person or one thing there was drama around. It was all the little things that stacked up. So-and-so wanted to be sure we’d have a wedding cake. What’s-her-name wanted to know if she could bring her dog to the ceremony. And did you get a gift from insert-family-friend-here because you really should have?? The list goes on.
And I really struggled to answer questions, handle expectations, and manage my feelings around things that were completely outside of my control. I’m lucky to have an incredible support system (reminder: getting the right support is SO KEY!) that reminded me that I am only ever really, truly in control of my own thoughts and feelings. What everyone else thinks and feels falls squarely outside of my control. Because over here on team human being, we filter everyone else’s stuff through our own thoughts and life experiences. That means their feelings around the possibility of me not having a wedding cake actually has zero to do with me. It reminds me of that quote, “You can be the sweetest peach in the world, but there will still be someone who doesn’t like peaches.” My number one responsibility was making sure I was happy because that was all I could do anyway.
This is such a valuable business lesson too. So often I hop on my free Stressed to Success coaching calls and I hear how many creatives and entrepreneurs are worried about “selling too much” or “being salesy.” They don’t want others to get annoyed by hearing about their offer too many times. But the way I see it, that falls squarely outside of their control anyway. Look, your number one job as a business owner is to serve your people and to make money doing it. If there are people out there who are annoyed by that, it has more to do with their thoughts and feelings about what you’re offering than it does with YOU. And if that’s the case, good riddance, they weren’t your ideal client anyway. But having been through it recently, I can totally relate to how hard that can be to remember in the moment. Here’s your gentle reminder to do your own thought work because that’s all that’s in your control anyway.
The bottom line:
Planning a wedding in six months is not for the faint of heart, but if we’re being real, neither is business. However, I’ve found that with both IT IS possible to delight in the journey BECAUSE OF the mindset work I do on a regular basis. It’s that mindset work that makes it possible to see the ups and downs that are inherent in life and business through the lens of “there will always be tradeoffs but I can still get what I want”. It’s those thoughts that made my wedding day (and the whole weekend really!) as magical as it was, the same way they’ll bring you more success in business too.
Tell me in the comments below:
You don’t have to be planning a wedding to implement these mindset hacks. Which one are you going to implement in your business this week?!
Photography by Jennifer Morgan Photography
