Stop comparing yourself to their “highlight reel” and grow your biz with more ease
If you’ve been in the online marketing and social media space for a hot minute, you’ve likely heard the quote, “The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes to everyone else’s highlight reel.”
And while I think there’s some merit to that, I also know that you have complete and TOTAL control over how you feel and how you show up each day. Truth.
Literally EVERYTHING shifted for me when I started celebrating my own wins (both in life AND in business) however small and stopped brushing off my successes on the hunt to my next big thing.
Seriously. I celebrate doing laundry, making myself a healthy lunch, and taking the dog for a walk, the same way I celebrate publishing a blog post, connecting with a fellow entrepreneur, getting a new lead, landing a new client, getting a stellar podcast review, and giving some solid advice in a Facebook group.
Because you don’t need to have perfectly styled squares to know that true, DEEP happiness comes through appreciating those little moments in your everyday and really seeing the beauty that’s in front of you NOW. And consequently, that exact mindset shift will also get you closer to your goals and the success you want too.
In this week’s journal article, I’m sharing how to stop comparing yourself to their “highlight reel” and grow your biz with more ease, even if right now you feel like you'll never get “there.”
Find peace in your own decisions
I love to travel. When I talk about the things that more money in my business CREATES for me in my own life—experiencing new places, staying in the most adorable boutique hotels, and exploring some of our nation’s amazing national parks are all pretty high on my list.
But lately, I’ve got some really exciting things going on behind the scenes in both life and business.
We’ve been making so major headway on our home renovations (I mean, have you seen my stories with those wood floors, recently?!).
I’m working hard behind the scenes for a new offering I’ll launch around the holidays.
And boy, does it feel like I’m in the messy middle of both, making it even more important that I focus on my priorities and make very intentional decisions to spend my energy in the RIGHT places.
For me, that means sticking closer to home right now.
Now of course, this past weekend my feed was filled with fun adventures of everyone else traveling and exploring.
As I watch the stories, I find myself celebrating for each and every one of you.
There’s joy where there could have been envy (a lot of envy). And that right there is a crazy beautiful mindset shift for the girl that LOVES to travel and adventure.
My takeaway is this—the more confident, secure, and at peace you are with where you’re at and how you’re feeling RIGHT NOW the easier it is to avoid the comparison trap and make decisions that are in line with growing your life and business in a way that feels good.
And just a reminder, you always get more of the results you want when it feels aligned to what you want and how you want to create it.
Lean into your own highlight reel
Raise your hand if scrolling Insta or participating in a Facebook group has ever sent you into a deep spiral of comparisonitis. (Raises hand.)
But the truth is that social media only shows a verrrry select portion of reality.
It doesn’t show you the dishes in my sink, the construction dust errrywhere, the tongue-tied moments on the podcast, the months I don’t hit my numbers, or the days I’m writing a last-minute newsletter because #reallife.
And while social media can get a bad rap for only sharing the highlights, I choose to think of it differently because I know that even RECOGNIZING those highlights can have a profound effect on how we view success in both our life and business.
For the longest time, I simply dismissed my own successes (and honestly, sometimes I still catch myself doing that). Everything good came with an asterisk attached (*) so I didn’t even give myself a chance to recognize the wins I was having.
Even some pretty spectacular ones.
Here’s what I mean: Airbnb bookings the exact week we put our listing up? *Wasn’t anything I did (eyeroll, of course it was!) must just have been because they have such a wide audience.
Landed a new 5-figure design project? *Not a win because it wasn’t the dreamiest of dream clients.
Traveled to Iceland for two weeks? *Worried if I’d still have clients when I returned.
The list goes on.
But once I started recognizing that those were literally ALL wins, the more I was able to lean into my own success and feel more confident in my ability to create more of the things I actually WANT in my life and business.
And that feels a whole hell of a lot better than the paralyzing effects comparison can have.
So the next time you feel yourself scrolling into a sea of envy and self-doubt, try this instead:
Take a second, close your eyes, and think of three things in your own life and business highlight reel. What are those REALLY GOOD things that you’ve created for yourself recently?
Think of it as evidence of what you can create in your own life and business
Comparison can completely rob you of joy if you let it.
But I think it’s important to recognize that YOU get to choose how you want to think about someone else’s wins.
So instead of being envious when I see a post that so-and-so tripled her revenue for the third year in a row from a tropical island, l like to look at it as evidence of what’s possible.
I’m actually THRILLED when I see a post in a Facebook group about a mom who worked 25 hours the entire MONTH and rocked her best cash month ever, all while chillin’ on flamingo floaties in pool with her 7-year old.
Because it’s proof it’s possible.
Just that simple mindset shift can help you to take action from a place of, “If she can do it, so can I” or “why NOT me?” rather than a sea of negative thinking and self-doubt.
Empowering yourself with the confidence and capability to create what you WANT in life and business is ALWAYS going to yield more income and impact than thinking that “she simply got lucky” or “it’s possible for her, but not for me.”
It’s that exact way of thinking that fueled the successes in my own highlight real. It empowered me to:
→ Leave my full-time job in NYC and move to Colorado
→ Strike out on my own and build my own design studio
→ Do the coaching work that lights me up with clients that I absolutely ADORE
→ Allow me to drop literally everything when the dog gets sick
→ Have incredible misty-morning runs through the mountains
→ Go on Friday day-dates with my guy
→ Live in the house of my dreams on the side of a mountain
→ Have my best month in revenue EVER in the coaching biz
Simply put, empower yourself with the thoughts you need to take aligned action and bring more success your way. Because remember, you get to CHOOSE how you think.
Get time and headspace back in your day
Occasionally, I catch myself scrolling simply to fill the void.
A few minutes between calls? Why not open Instagram?
Waiting for Brian to finish getting ready? Let’s see what’s happening on Facebook.
Been away from my desk? I should probably check email. And I know I’m not alone in this.
I recently removed Gmail from my phone so that I could only check email when I was sitting at my computer.
The number of times I reached from my phone to check email that week was a real eye-opener and only reinforced how much of a habit it had become.
Not only that, but it opened up so much more headspace.
And let’s be real, I’m not going to respond to a warm lead while I’m standing in the checkout line at Target anyway.
I had another client recently who found that she was checking email on her phone before she went to bed at night.
The more we talked about it, the more she realized how unnecessary that was. She removed the app from her phone right then and there on our coaching call.
Not only was that an empowering decision for her that reinforced her boundaries, but it also means that her people won’t be RECEIVING emails at night so she’s relieving them of that pressure to respond and passing that same gift right along to others. THAT is a beautiful ripple effect.
Being mindful of your time scrolling on your phone can literally buy you more time in the day.
Because that means less time going down the rabbit hole and looking at everyone else’s stuff or checking emails you know you won’t respond to until later.
It also means more dedicated time staying in your own lane and working toward your own goals, helping you to grow your business and see the results you want far sooner.
Know your WHY when it comes to social media
We all have different reasons for scrolling social media.
I use it for inspiration and visual research, to connect with other creatives and entrepreneurs, to share content that grows my business, and to stay up-to-date with family and friends that live far away.
But sometimes clients come to me with the more negative sides of social media.
They find that it’s cultivating self-doubt, becoming a procrastination technique, or a chore in their business they feel they HAVE to keep up with in real time.
And believe me, I’ve been there too.
So the question I like to ask myself is, “What am I looking for here?”
Because knowing your WHY behind your social media usage is an important part of being mindful of your consumption so that you can avoid the comparison trap and grow your business in a way that feels good to you.
And I’d be willing to bet your “why” isn’t “because I enjoy throwing pity-parties and snowballing into comparison and self-doubt.” ;)
So remember why you’re there and know that sometimes the easiest way to feel better and happier in your day to day is simply to put the phone down and do something else.
The bottom line:
Social media can be viewed in both a negative and a positive light, but it’s up to you to be mindful of your consumption and CHOOSE the role you want it to play in your life and business. The “highlight reel” isn’t inherently bad and can help you to recognize and cultivate your own wins so that you feel empowered to take action and get more of the results you want in life and business.
Tell me in the comments below:
What is one thing in life or business that’s on your highlight reel this week?
Photography by Jennifer Morgan Photography
